i hopped a chicken bus out to a finca [farm] where they grow macadamian nuts. i'd heard a lot about this place. VALHALLA . mostly how good the pancakes were and how they had the most beautiful outhouse in all of Guatemala. being somewhat well traveled i had to see this [el bano] but i was also interested in understanding the introduction of the macadamian trees as a sustainable economic and environmental solution for Guatemala.
as you wander onto the property you are just in awe of the the care that has been taken to cultivate the farm. it is a study of living with nature.
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| the Mac Giver |
with a name like Valhalla i knew the owner would have a sense of humor and indeed meeting Lorenzo is a singular experience. turns out he's the the guy who greets people as you enter the farm.
i hardly know where to start. he's been doing this for decades now and has been recognized on the global level of integrity in cultivating macadamian trees. they have given hundreds of thousands of macadamian seedlings to indigenous communities to foster climate sustainability and address the serious lack of nutrition with the communities.
he built a nut cracking machine from scratch and called it Mac Giver - it reminded so much of my dad i know my dad would appreciate the simplicity and elegance of such a solution to a common problem. he also built a sorting machine that allows them to sort the nuts making sure that they are dried according to size. all of this is practical for Guatamala and i was humbled by the work one couple has done.
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| the sorter |
three hours later filled with pancakes, vanilla/cacao/macadamian talk, lots of laughter, a tour, a facial and meeting his adorable wife i left feeling like i was a part of the family.
and yes, the bathroom is probably the most beautiful in all of Guatemala.
Guatemala is where school buses go to die. it's kind of like their retirement place - like Florida is for retired people. when the school buses in the US are moved out of service, they are hauled down to Guatemala where they are given a makeover which usually includes some painting, statutes of saints or other religious symbols and lots of chrome.
these buses are called chicken buses because they are the primary transportation for the nationals [who sometimes will be transporting chickens] and they are not expensive. in picking a bus going in your direction it's always best to choose the one with the most chrome and best painting. it's an indication the bus has been probably been cared for mechanically as well. in relation to other countries i actually feel pretty safe on these. i just use them to get around certain routes - usually villages outside Anitigua but less than 30 minutes. still, most drivers drive like 'bats out of hell' with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. for this reason it's not advisable to take them on longer distance trips where the possibility of brakes failing on a steep incline or curve would be flirting with fate.
it's a weird feeling riding an American school bus in Guatemala but i also feel like i'm being transported back into my childhood in some way. uber is active here so that's what i use after dark.
i negotiate a fair taxi price to get back to the ferry which just goes to show that not all the taxi drivers on the island are trying to rip off tourists. when i say taxi, it's a bit of a stretch .... in the past we called them songthaew but now everyone refers to them as taxi.... yeah, it's an open back pickup truck with some benches. goodbye Koh Samet with your freakish sculpture that greets tourists.....
the ferry ride is nice but the alternative speed boat service probably works out close to the same price. i'd probably use the speed boat service if i did it again to avoid the surly taxi drivers plus it saves time because they will drop you directly at the beach you are staying. the prow of the boat is a sacred spot where the spirits dwell so they are typically decorated, most often with fresh flower garlands that are sold by
hawkers on the side of the road.
back at the 'dock' i'm waiting for the bus back to Bangkok and it feels like 100 degrees and 100 percent humidity. a bus pulls up and for a moment there is a burst of excitement but then the american couple waiting with me points out - that's way to nice to be our bus. yes, we have bus envy and for a moment, sitting in the heat at the stinky, trash ridden ferry terminal i wonder why i travel the way i do. then a group of chinese tourists all wearing the same shirt line up to get on the bus and i'm reminded why i travel independently.
back to Bangkok we go on our just a little bit better than a chicken bus. i hop the skytrain to the boat taxi and head over to the tourist ghetto where i previously scouted out a guesthouse. it takes like an hour but only costs $2US and a taxi which would take about the same amount of time would be around $30US. it is a pain is the a$$ to get around Bangkok. and yeah, there is a road in Bangkok actually referred to as the tourist ghetto.
i hopped a chicken bus out to a finca [farm] where they grow macadamian nuts. i'd heard a lot about this place. VALHALLA . mostly how good the pancakes were and how they had the most beautiful outhouse in all of Guatemala. being somewhat well traveled i had to see this [el bano] but i was also interested in understanding the introduction of the macadamian trees as a sustainable economic and environmental solution for Guatemala. 
