oh Ho

i arrived on the night bus from Hue. it was the worst of the bus rides i think because this driver was really bad. there are two drivers for the night bus and when we get pulled over by the 'traffic wardens' there is a quick change of drivers so i suspect one may not be correctly licensed. you know when you are getting close to the end of the trip when the drivers let the hotel touts onto the bus. the bus stop is again some random intersection surrounded by taxi and hotel touts. there are two good ways to deal with them. the first is let all the other westerners get off first then sneak around the back. the second is to jump off first and move quickly down the street because they are mostly too lazy to follow you and wait for an easier target behind you.

i find a cafe in the old quarter and leave my bag for a couple of hours while i explore Hanoi, look for a hotel and book a trip to Halong Bay for the next day. i beeline it to the mausoleum where the body of Ho Chi Minh is on display. he is a national hero similar to Che. this is a must do in Hanoi because the whole experience is surreal. first off, i am really lucky because Uncle Ho's body is here. for two months every year [October and November] he is shipped off to Russia for 'maintenance'. the list of rules about walking through the mausoleum is long and strictly enforced. i see the guards pulling random visitors from the line and making them empty their pockets and they are not kind. this is after a TSA style security check where all electronics must be checked at a desk. i just avoid all eye contact and walk as slowly as possible [the guards push you if you stop or walk too slowly or put your hands in your pockets or talk or laugh] so i can enjoy the air conditioning. mostly i just feel sorry for the guy who lived a humble life and is now pumped full of something and left on display. 

as i leave the museum at the complex i'm approached by this tiny Vietnamese woman who asks me to help her with her English.  we talk for about 10 minutes and she has a gazzillion questions for me and i wait for a product pitch but it never comes.  other travelers have similar stories and it makes for a great experience and an opportunity to ask questions about the culture and their families.  i ask about the disparity in response to Westerners and she tells me the people are cranky because it is so hot but i'm not buying it.

there are no tuk-tuks in Vietnam but the taxis are metered so it is not required to negotiate the cost up front. however, when i grab a taxi from the mausoleum complex i get a block and see the taxi driver has started the meter at 100,000 dong [$5] instead of 10,000 [50 cents] and i tell him to reset it or pull over. this doesn't end well for him. i get out against his protests and i am in front of the Dutch embassy. the guards don't speak English but i gesture wildly and the taxi leaves. i hope all fraudulent taxi drivers burn in hell for all eternity.  really. 

lunch at KOTO [know one teach one]. i am such a sucker for these NGO's that are doing such great work to get the kids off the street. again the food is fantastic and staff eager to create a good experience for the patrons. this one holds the distinction that Bill Clinton has been a visitor.

there is a feeling among some travelers that the lonely planet writers are fear mongers because the guides are constantly warning about all the ways you will get scammed.  after the bad taxi i become frozen by the fear of being ripped off and it makes for a bad afternoon of hunting Hanoi in the heat of the afternoon for a decent hotel and tour office to book a trip to Halong Bay.  hang in there with me for just a minute as the day turns out quite good. 

i get my admin [that's what we call our travel booking, laundry, blogging, email, skype or other chores] done and head over the Tamarind Cafe for dinner.  here i have dinner with two Australians and two Kiwis and we laugh and swap travel stories late into the evening.  the Australians are also booked for a Halong Bay trip and it sounds like we may be on the same boat but there are so many boats that we can't be sure.  off to bed for a good night sleep with just a little bit of trepidation about the quality of the boat and tour of Halong Bay.

night bus in Vietnam

i get booted off the first bus because it was overbooked.  i have the seat already so i make them pay me $5US and they put me on another bus a half hour later.  it seems there is all this yelling and conflict constantly between the Vietnamese.  once the bus is moving i wrap myself up in a sarong and go to sleep.  because of the bus change i end up at the wrong spot in Nha Trang.  i take a cab over the travel agency and tell them to pay for the cab.  they don't want to [and it's only a $1US] but i do not back down and they take care of it.  i leave my bag in storage there for the day and head to the beach.

i arrange for a boat trip out to the islands a bit of snorkeling.  the masks are really bad but i love to snorkel and so i jump in even though there are jet skis and boats zipping along and a thin coating of gas covering the whole area.  it is the high season for Vietnamese travelers because the kids are just out of school.  the whole day has a very carnival like atmosphere. 

it reminds me of the boardwalks on the beach in New Jersey. the boat is mostly Vietnamese and when the boat stops for swiming the few westerners strip down to swimsuits in 2 seconds flat and jump in. the Vietnamese don't go swiming and they remain covered from head to toe in clothes.  after the third stop the motion catches up with them and like a wave across the whole boat they all start vomiting.  meanwhile the crew transforms the table into a platform for thier boy band - complete with guitar, drums and front man.  let's just say i do not think they would make it past Simon on American Idol.

i only have the one day here as i am getting another night bus to Hoi An in the evening.  what i have seen of Nha Trang is not impressive and i hope there is more to Vietnam than the dissappointment it has been thus far.

i am on the open tour bus which means i can jump on/off the bus at any location and it is $36US from Saigon to Hanoi which sounds like a deal to me.  it works out to just over .50US per hour.  i booked with TM Brother, however, every time i am asked by a local which ticket i am on they screw up thier faces terribly and say Sinh Cafe is the best open bus ticket.  thanks lonely planet!!

american imperialists

after the tours i take a night minivan to Vientiane, the capital of Laos. it’s a nine hour drive. something happens at the bus station that is way to involved to explain here but i had been traveling with a couple of really great Australians and they get don't get seats on the bus. i don't either but the ticket i bought was for a minivan which no one had explained to me.


so, it's 8:30PM and i am the only westerner sitting on a minivan with 14 passengers. i hang out the window, wish my Aussie friends luck and ask the guy with the clipboard what time we arrive in Vientiane. he does the math in his head and says 6AM.
 
two hours into this ride the woman next to me if vomiting and passes out and her two year old daughter ends up curled in my arms. i think they call this connecting with the locals.

we arrive about 5am i check into a hotel, take a nap and then go to the bakery. the French legacy in Laos are the bakeries. bread is conspicuously missing from the asian diet and so it is one thing i have really missed and based on the popularity of the bakeries i would say i am not the only one who appreciates the legacy.

i go to the National History Museum although i have heard it is really just propaganda for the government. i go because i really want to understand the people and the government and the culture. it is indeed room after room documenting the glorious victory of comrades of the revolution against the US imperialists and their puppets. it may even all be true and accurate but i leave with a question in my mind. ‘how’s that communism thing working for you?’

i book a flight to leave tomorrow for Phnom Penh, Cambodia. it was 1,200,000 Kip [$160US].  at the travel agent i count out the money.  i was short a bit because of the limit on ATMs of 700,000 kip per day so i used a few American dollars which they accept as well.