i spend a lazy day on the beach. i hate to encourage the indigenous animals to eat off the tourists so i shoo away the monkey when it comes onto my porch looking for a snack. it snarls at me and i remember how ebola is spread through monkey bites. i'm not even in Africa and it's the first thing i think of when i see monkey teeth. i have nothing but an empty potato chip bag so i back down pretty quickly, okay immediately, and let him have it. fucker.