day 5. i still want to leave. i talk to the retreat director and he says check out is after yoga each day so i can leave tomorrow morning if i choose. i know developing a disciplined practice of meditation and yoga will anchor me in the future so i try to focus and remain present. i talk to Sarah briefly and she writes me a wonderful note encouraging me to stay. it feels like the prison door has been opened and now it's up to be to decide if i shall stay or i shall go.
there is another monk who comes by to talk at us once a day. he is British so he's called the English Monk. i like his talks because not only can i understand him but he has the British attitude about things that makes me laugh. because he is a westerner living in Thailand he provides an immense amount of insight between the two different cultures.